suzy spinster

I did something adult while I was away.

Posted on September 23, 2015 by suzyspinster

I’m like your ex.

I kind of promise to stick around and update this thing when I can, then you don’t hear from me for 8 months so you figure I’m gone for good, you can safely guess you’ll never hear from me again, TA DAAAAAAAAAAAA! I’m back in your face. I also doubt you want to know what I have been up to but I’m going to tell you anyway.

If we were friends on Facebook or Instagram you’d know what’s been happening but we’re probably not so I’ll fill you in.

My cat is still my baby. I haven’t got another one just yet but I have discovered an instragram account called Foster Kittens! Holy shit do those little adorable fuzzballs make my ovaries go mental. I want them all and I’m constantly distracted by them that I’m surprised I still have a job. “Hey Suz, we got a customer who wants something yesterday!” My usual reply is something like “Shut up/Don’t have time/Sorry I’m watching Foster Kittens!” I think my adorable fuzzball has picked up on my addiction so he has started bringing me home presents to prove he can also be distracting and charming. He doesn’t bother to wrap them or kill them, he just drops them at our feet and looks lovingly up to us with his chest out while his ‘gifts,’ are scurrying or flying around INSIDE the house. Last count for the month was 5 mice, 2 birds and a geeko. Since he has been insisting on being so I giving I have tried dropping a few hints about nice endowments, such as chocolates, wine, tea sets, all expenses paid trip to Fiji. But he just insists on going to the park and returning with anything that is complementary and breathing that isn’t the Bondi Vet or Andy Lee (another hint dropped of Max is reading this. He’ll never read this, he has things to do like licking his bum or clawing the couch).

What else have I been doing? Oh yes, speaking of reuniting with ex’s I stupidly got back together with cigarettes but that’s another blog. Been studying, procrastinating and still getting distracted, pining for a dog, oh yeah I also bought a house with my sister.

Sorry I just heard you drop things.

Yep. That’s right, the queen of ‘avoiding doing anything that involves being an adult,’ went and put herself into some good debt. First grown up thing I have done in 34 years. Now I must point out that if it wasn’t for my sister’s grown up bank account, there’s no way in hell I the bank would’ve lent me a large sum of money. But I did get approved for a loan and my sister and I now live in my our own house, in the northern suburbs and it’s fucking incredible! And boy do I never want to go through the hoops of getting to the home owning stage again!

I was going to go right into every agonising part of what one goes through before owning a home but it’s just too soon to relive right now so I’ll just say:

Waiting for banks approval: Nail biting. You’ll soon start bashing yourself about that evil credit card you once had just to keep for emergencies until you find yourself smack bang in the middle of wedding season/ find that book before it becomes a movie / it’s your round for that $50 bottle of wine everyone has been enjoying/ your favourite band reunites and announce a tour smack bang during wedding season or you really needed that mango that is $6 in the supermarket because you’ve missed Mango all year.

House hunting: Not only does this go on for months (we actually met people who had been looking for a year) but you have no idea how much a house has been airbrushed until you see the house in the flesh and not to mention trying to look through properties with hundreds of other people also bulldozing past you. Don’t try it if your claustrophobic. Real estate agents ignoring you, Real Estate agents all over you. Dream house sells out of budget at auction. You end up a hermit because you are too exhausted from house hunting. You miss your Saturdays, Sundays end up being house work days, you want your weekends back. The amount of junk you end up eating and drinking on the run. Vendor insists on a 30 day settlement, Vendor delays settlement, house ends up settling 90 days later.

Then it’s moving day and THE FUCKING BOND CLEAN!!!! In fact by the time you get to that stage you couldn’t care less if you get your bond back or not and it’s also been so long since you last saw the house the bank purchased that you’ve forgotten what it looks like and buying furniture for it becomes a nightmare. Is the couch too big for the lounge room? How big were the cupboards in the kitchen? How much do I need to down size?

There is so much more about the process of buying but I am now far too exhausted to type any more but it’s so nice to be able to do what you want to the house without having to ask landlords and real estate agents if it’s okay for anything. Although now if things breakdown we now have to fork out for it to be fixed but I can now mark a wall and not freak out, have as many pets as I want, have a garden, not give a fuck and my parents have something nice to write up in their Christmas cards.

Well I really must go, I have 2 notifications that need my attention on Facebook. Let’s not leave it so long next time.

Triple J hits menopause

Posted on January 26, 2015 by suzyspinster

I’m well and truly over the other side of 25 for Triple J’s liking but once upon a time it was my rock. Mikey Robins, Helen Razor, Paul McDermott, Jen Oldershaw and the Sandman got me dressed and ready for school. I’d hide my headphones under my hair and listen during lessons, recess, lunch breaks, drive time would walk me home (sorry but the names are escaping me now) and Michael Tunn would get me through my homework / assignments that were due the next morning.

I began listening to Triple J back in 1995 at the impressionable age of 14, the unlucky fella I was crushing on at the time was an avid fan, so I made the switch from a commercial station to ‘the j’s.’ From that day on, I was never the same. I have to point out that my dress sense completely changed, almost over night. ‘Cross Colour / 26 Red’, jeans were placed with straight legged, faded blue jeans or green army pants purchased from the local second hand shop. Adidas jumpers and jackets were out and knitted, grandpa jumpers, cardigans and band t-shirts (also purchased from the local second hand shop) were in. My Nike sneakers were swiftly replaced with Converse “Skatey shoes,” AKA Converse One Star and my good pair of shoes were Converse All Stars (not from the second hand shop). I also wanted to dye my hair black but Mum quickly put a stop to that. (One morning after she worked a night shift and went to sleep, I convinced my sister it was okay to dye it black for me. There was nothing Mum could do once it was done; black hair is too hard and too costly to reverse. So eventually I got my way, although I had no idea my hair would go purple in the sun light).

When I was a young Wart hoooooooooooooog!

Posted on January 10, 2015 by suzyspinster

When we were little we all have dreams of what we are going to be when we grow up. Most kids want jobs like a Policeman or woman, a teacher, a person who works in an office, checkout chick or have their own Diner just like Bobby from Home And Away. My friends were smart enough to want standard careers. Then there was me, batting well above my average and deciding the perfect career for me was to become a back up singer for John Farnham.

Look at least I had some idea I wasn’t meant for the lead role. I went straight for the under study instead. Still I had a few tickets on myself.

Yep at 10 years old I figured doing this was far better than sitting in some rank, shared air conditioned cubical or serving people their meals. I should be standing there under those lights that reminded me of Star Wars ~~some movie I fell asleep through during the first hour and never bothered to watch it again.~~ So I studied the Chain Reaction Live Concert Mum taped for me (minus the advertising. Don’t forget to pause it during the ad breaks and hit record again when they finish! She usually forgot for the first 3 minutes after the ad breaks had finished). Vanetta Fields and Lisa Edwards were my idols and had the dream job. They got to stand at the back of the stage, do a bit of dancing and wear some fashionably 90’s clothes (remember those huge gold wing earrings Vanetta wore? Lisa’s little black dress and her hair flying everywhere?) They also got to travel and hang with John Farnham and his band (you weren’t a true Farnham fan if you didn’t have crush on Angus). And they never had to worry about concentrating on an instrument heavier than a tambourine.

Too lazy to Flirt / Date / Score.

Posted on January 9, 2015 by suzyspinster

Oh my look what I have gone and done. I’ve started a second entry. Lets see if I finish this as it’s proving a little difficult having a cat demand that the lap top share my lap with him.

So the first entry I explained that I’m happily single and while I’m not stressing about being in my early 30’s and I haven’t had a ring on it at all, I should probably point out that this is also due to the fact that I’m an awful flirt, get stupidly shy around fellas I like and the majority of my male friends are gay. I have no idea how straight guys work! (If there is a manual out there feel free to show me) It could also be that boys have taste and I find that gay boys are fun.

Bulla!

Posted on January 7, 2015 by suzyspinster

Bulla dear readers and welcome to my 68th new blog.

As always I start one of these things. I make one new entry, forget about it, then remember it. Then I become Detective Amaro and start tracking down what email account was the last to be seen with which word press. By the time I have interviewed myself through a technique I like to call ‘Password reccovery,’ I’m too buggered to write an entry and watching Husbands of Hollywood takes up less brain power.

So this time round I will try my hardest to keep up with this blog which I should maybe tell you a little bit about. Here we go. Oh look another photo of a kitten popped up on my instagram feed and it’s attacking a Christmas tree. Some times I look at these and wish I was the Christmas tree and the kitten was Michael Fassbender. I have no idea who Michael Fassbender is but I just image googled ‘Hot guys with beards,’ and he and his orange beard popped up. Looks like I’m going to have to start watching X-Men movies.